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Wayne Dean-Richards

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he searches, it takes days or months or years, perhaps,

then he finds, in the end quite by accident, the same or, no,

not that, but if not that, very similar, yes, not the same then,

but very similar, yes, which, he deems, is good enough,

or at the very least for now the best available, whatever that

means, so buys, believing to own again will be, perhaps,

well, a solution, or at least the promise thereof, ‘at least’

not a diminutive in this case. anyway, to move on if such

a thing is possible, ‘the promise thereof’ is a joke, he knows,

nonetheless he settles on the purchase, buys, yes, and holds, no,

more like clutches, the new possession, which is not, no, but is

much like, yes, the old possession, watches his fingers drain

like a carcass, bitten by expectancy wants to feel better, yes,

please, yes, please, like once before, perhaps, wants to feel

something at least, anything but this, decides, perhaps,

that even a lesser version will suffice, waits and counts,

waits and counts, waits and counts, to no avail for nothing

changes, no, at least not for the better, nothing, no,

save, perhaps, deepening disappointment, yes,

and weariness, like a thick cloth, hours or days or months of it,

not unbearable, no, to be worn and borne out of necessity

since this purchase, new to him, and at least, again not a diminutive,

similar to the old, fulfils, not like last time, perhaps, well,

there’s no perhaps, is there, no, doesn’t, no, why it is that he puts it down,

then looks at it for a second, perhaps longer, then steps away

and breathes and breathes and breathes, leaves it lying there

and considers another search, another, yes,

another, is convinced that it’s inevitable,

so, fixes on that, yes, and quietly, yes, ever so ever so quietly,

like a whisper in a dream, yes,

begins again or continues, yes,

begins again or continues, yes,

yes,

yes.